For most of my life, I tried to be perfect. I bent over backwards for others when they never did the same. I’d spend hours and hours of my day fretting over what others said about me, what they wanted from me, and what they did not give me.
It was an exhausting life, but I didn’t stop. I was determined to be a perfect human being, one that everyone liked and admired.
Instead, all I got was disappointment. My friends wondered why I worried so much about people I disliked, which made them suspicious. My boss took advantage of me, increased my hours without consulting me, and ignored the days I asked off. My family asked too much of my time, wanted me to drive everywhere they desired. Soon, I was backed into a corner, trapped. In the darkness, I wondered, “What is wrong with me? Why is everything so difficult, even when I try so hard?” And then, it hit me — no one cares about me.
This realization wasn’t a curse — it was a miracle. It was like my brain switched on, and the gears finally turned. No one was obligated to be nice to me, give me a raise, or accept my follow request. But I was responsible for my own happiness.
Immediately, I switched tactics. I used all the time and energy I spent on others on myself. I used my paycheck to buy myself clothes, shoes, and perfume. I stopped kissing my boss’s behind and set boundaries with co-workers. I made it clear to friends that certain times weren’t acceptable to hang out. And then, something strange happened — I didn’t care about their approval anymore.
In no time, the approval I’ve always wanted returned tenfold. The people I tried so hard to impress, now wanted to talk to me. At first, I was hurt. But now I realize that they avoided me in the past because they intuitively knew that I did not prioritize myself, which made me a repellant.
We are all attracted to those who are focused on themselves. Think about who you had a crush on, someone who admired at work, or a YouTuber you respect. All of them prioritize themselves, which in turn makes you respect them.
If you’re wondering why things aren’t working out for you, even when you do so much, ask yourself when was the last time you did your hobby, or gotten yourself a spa day? Step back and ask if you spent your money on your car repairs instead of someone else’s. By stepping back, you reclaim your power, and in turn, your life will change forever.