Recently, I’ve been interested in marriage. It’s not like I’m desperate for a proposal to come knocking at my door. But when it comes to the idea of it, my brain switched from indifference to interest. However, no one has ever sat me down and told me how the courting process goes. So, I used what I learned from society and decided to approach the guy I liked.
Big, big mistake.
Today, I want to share with you 5 reasons why you should never pursue a man.
1. If he doesn’t pursue you, you’ll forever question his love
If you were the one to pluck up the courage and asked him out and he said yes, you might think this is a good thing. However, years down the line you’ll wonder if he would have pursued you if you didn’t.
Although he may say that he cares about you, you’ll never know if fate would’ve brought you two together if you just stayed on the other side of the room.
Also, guys who are interested in you will pursue. They will come up to you and introduce themselves. Yes, even if they’re “shy”.
2. If he doesn’t approach you but shows interest, he’s taken
A guy showed interest in me before, but later down the line I learned that he was in a committed relationship.
I felt betrayed. I knew that he was interested, and I had no idea that he was taken. But to the rest of the world, it looked like I was the home-wrecker.
I didn’t know that my reputation was on the line when I pursued him, and he didn’t care enough to let me know that he wasn’t single.
Guys like this like to keep their relationships secret, not private. A private relationship means that everyone knows that he’s taken but he doesn’t share the details. A secret one, means that everyone, especially other women, are confused about his status, so he’s able to flirt will all sorts of women when his partner isn’t around.
Honestly, these are the worst type of men.
3. If he doesn’t approach you but he’s single, he doesn’t like you enough
Some women will swear up and down that their crush likes them. That could be true. But does he like you enough?
Maybe a guy likes a girl but isn’t interested in marriage. Or, he likes her but she’s from a different ethnicity and his parents won’t approve. Or, he just wants to toy with her heart and see if she’ll fall for his charm. Regardless, a man that doesn’t pursue you for whatever reason, doesn’t care about you enough.
4. He’s a boy, not a man
Just because he’s your age, doesn’t mean he’s mature enough to pursue a relationship.
He may have financial issues, or isn’t emotionally mature. But, if you know that it’ll take him years to be ready for a relationship, don’t sit on the sidelines waiting for him.
Even if you wait for him for 2-3 years to get his act together, he won’t respect you anymore. He’ll see you as a desperate woman and will pursue someone that’s a challenge.
5. He doesn’t respect you
A lot of men can tell when a woman likes them. Even if you don’t go up to him, he already knows.
This might hurt, but I have to say it. Guys don’t respect a woman who will sacrifice their self-respect for him.
Whether you agree or not, pursuing a man or waiting months for him to approach will make him think you don’t think highly of yourself, and their interest in you will evaporate.
The solution? Screw him!
If he doesn’t pursue you but you think he’s husband material, pray to God to find a man that has his traits.
Trust me, this person isn’t worth spending days, months, or even years waiting for. What’s the point of waiting for his relationship to end, his “shyness” to go away, or his financial situation to get better? Think about it — if the roles were reversed, would he do any of that for you? No!
Try to remember how life was like before he came into the picture. Weren’t you happier, more content, and self-assured? Try to find that person again and rise up from this nonsense.
Don’t think of this person as a loss — no, he lost you, and you’re too good to be sitting around waiting for someone who doesn’t care.
It’s time to move on.
Until then, bye!