Men and Women Can’t Be Friends

Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash

It was freshmen year of college, welcome week. Eighteen students squirmed in their desks that were formed into a circle, and our leaders had plastered smiles on their faces, their eyes betraying their fear.

“Okay, everyone!” one of the girls squeaked out. “Time for icebreakers!”

Like any icebreaker, it was a long, treacherous trek around the circle. A tall Indian guy sat next to me, with a face so cold I nearly flinched at the sight of him. I assumed he was mad because we had to wake up so early to be here.

Soon, it was my turn. I introduced myself, and the guy’s face perked up. His whole body faced me, hearing every word. And ever since then, we hit it off.

We would walk to class, recommend each other anime shows to watch, and sit around and talk for hours. We both knew that our friendship was nothing more than that — a friendship. He knew that I was Muslim and what my religion stood for. So, our friendship grew.

Everything was great, until I noticed that his face was a bit too close when we talked. Or, when he refused to let me pay for my food and swiped his card. Or, when he was adamant about walking me to the bus stop after an event.

Something in my gut told me this was wrong. But, I tried to shake it off.

This person was a good friend to me — he was. He was someone I trusted. He was the only person in our large campus that understood me so well. And he was so kind. But…our friendship, as much as I wanted it to be, wasn’t friendship. It was courtship.

So, I cut him off. Completely.

He got the hint, and we parted ways.

No Man Is Friends With a Woman “Just Because”

There were many hints throughout our friendship that it wasn’t mutual for both of us. But, I tried to deny it because of how amazing it was to be with him.

The thing is, when you’re friends with the opposite gender, it’s never certain whether the feelings are mutual. There could be a point in the friendship where one catches feelings for the other and keeps it hidden for fear of ruining the relationship.

It’s better to protect yourself from such situations and ask yourself why you can’t find a friend from the same gender.

You Can Find Female Friends That Will Make You Feel Special and Loved

Once I started to make female friends, I realized that the fun that I had with my male friend was something I could find in other girls. We would laugh, talk about school and boys, and hang out the same way I used to do with him.

And the best part — I know for sure that these girls have no ulterior motives.

I used to deny that men and women can’t be friends

And for that, I learned my lesson.

This post isn’t to shame anyone who has opposite gender friends — I used to be defensive whenever someone called me out for having a male friend.

This is only to share my experience so that you won’t have to go through what I had.

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